A sport where the players actually enjoy getting hit in the head by a ball. - Soccer Advertisement, published for the MetroStars Major League Soccer Team, 1997.

The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this; if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does. - Phil Woosnam, 1974.

I think football would be a better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back. - Eric Morecambe.

Whenever the ball flew toward our goal and a score seemed inevitable, Jesus reached his foot out and cleared the ball. - Author Unknown, from an article in Rio de Janeiro's Jornal dos Sports.

Soccer is a game in which everyone does a lot of running around. Twenty-one guys stand around and one guy does the tap dance with the ball. - Jim Murray, 1967.

Wtf? Good quotes with some sense of humour.

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Not long ago, I watched a football -not American football, dumbfuck- match, between Liverpool and another team which was at the bottom of the EPL -for those football newbies, English Premier League- table.

At one particuler moment of the game, the opposing team -lets call the team X-, commits a foul on Peter Crouch -again, for those football newbs, Crouch is a Liverpool player-. Crouch, being nice, ignores the foul and forgives the offender.

Then the offender committed another foul on him. Crouch exploded. I tell you, the offender looked like he was about to pee in his pants and cry. Can't blame him, standing at 201cm tall, Crouch is no man to mess with. But it was a funny sight nevertheless; to see a grown man's face fill with so much fear, even the small girl in Emily Rose oso kalah sial.

Okay, I just witnessed Man U score a goal against Blackburn. Wtf. I played Winning 11 and fought against blackburn and they were a tough team to beat man. I sweat right into my controllers. Fucking blackburns.

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I need alcohol.

The funny thing about alcoholic drinks is, they seem to leave the alcohol behind while the liquid goes straight through you.

You beginners out there, if you experience frequent toilet visits prior to drinking alcohol, its normal. Your bladder will feel like a balloon constantly expanding until you empty it of course. Don't try to act macho by holding it in; you'll just make things worse -probably cause your pundi kencing to erupt-.

Put the expanding bladder aside. Getting high is one of alcohol's many wonders. Its a feeling thats undeniably splendid and is bound to last longer than smoking some stupid sticks.

So the next time you pass Giant or Carrefour or Cold Storage or some alcohol-selling outlet, remember to ask your parents -if they're there-, "Hey mum/dad, can I buy some alcohol to get high?".

Ask politely and innocently or you'll probably kena slapped right in the balls -thats if you have balls-. Even so, you'll probably get a "no" anyways. Unless you're of age.

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Need to find time to get my tattoo. At least 3-4 weeks free for it to heal. Problem is; the only 3-4 weeks I have next is in January! No worries. Mum lets, mum pays, I do lor. =D

Nyek nyek nyek. Like my new layout?

Dey, even if you don't, just say you do lah and make me happy can anot? I give you free cookies lah and maybe strip for you also. No guarantees on the stripping part.