Friday, September 08, 2006 : Boundaries of patience.
He who angers you, conquers you. - Elizabeth Kenny.
I've learnt an extremely imperital technique. And I've been using it every since I knew it. I just found out I can hide my anger extremely well and only reveal it when I want to. Cool eh?
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Shit, I've never been so popular.
In school, there's this fat ass teacher who has an issue with me. He just....... likes to find my faults. Now, I can't fight back -teacher? hello? tak bleh o-... SPM's nearing, I can't get expelled at a time like this. Okay, lets refer to him as FatFuck.
FatFuck's #1 excuse for torturing me; my tie is too long. Come on man. Thats one lame excuse. Who the fuck gives a fuck about ties being too long? As long as its being worn and buttoned.
Back then, he was the associate of authority I used to test new come backs that appear in my head. He also sharpened my debating skills. I would purposely tie my tie long everyday then he would approach me and the fight is on, verbally of course.
Usually the fight ends with me losing -don't ask, he's one tough nut to crack- mostly cause he would be using the same excuse over and over again. On occasions where I do win, it would be because my friends from Form 4 start showing up, purposely tying their ties long, to back me up.
Then FatFuck's attention would be diverted to them followed by me joining them. After I joined them, we would just walk away while he tries to call all of our names. Bwahahahaha.
But recently, another fucker's been targetting me. This time, its an Indian version of otai -that was not a racist statement but merely a statement to inform his description-. Lets call him OtaiFuck.
Let me describe him and you'll see what I'm talking about. He has this long face with a rough chin of mixed white and black short, shaved beard hair. The hair on his head is about the same length as the hair on his chin, 1cm the most, and has white and black hair too.
It started as this.
He walks into the bus I sit in. He turns his head to inspect the situation. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he shouts to Brandon -some innocent dude sitting down with his bag taking the other seat-, "What is this *points to Brandon's bag*? You pay for 2 seats ah?"
Brandon, being the wimp that he is, just kept quite and shifted his bag onto his lap.
Then OtaiFuck went to the back of the bus, where I was sitting -there are 5 seats at the back of the bus, 1 taken by me, another one taken by my friend leaving 3 empty-, and started it.
OtaiFuck : What about you? You pay for five seats ah?
Me : What?! Nobody come to sit oso.
OtaiFuck : *walks away then suddenly turns back* Of course la, see your face who oso dowan to sit with you.
Me : *points to my friend* There, she's sitting with me.
OtaiFuck : *walks away again then suddenly turns back* If she's smart she would not sit with you.
Oh, I lost it there. I'm fine with people insulting me, doesn't bother me at all, but I get pissed off when my friend, who's not even involved in the conversation, gets insulted. Seriously, she didn't do anything to receive that insult. She was just sitting there staring at the both of us.
Me : You think you so smart ah? Look at you man.
OtaiFuck : You wanna see how smart I am? You come here.
At this point, I knew, expulsion was near if I did anything rash. But wtf? If you wanna show me something, you come to me la.
Me : No thanks, you won't be able to prove it. I'll pass this one. *motions one hand in a 'shoo' manner*
OtaiFuck : *Shouts something that got swallowed up by the words of the passengers of the bus*
So I just ignored him. Damn! That felt good. And to top it off, I even kept my cool.
Today, I got double-fucked. This one was hard to tackle.
FatFuck and OtaiFuck both happened to be in the same place with me. Oh boy, this spelled trouble.
First, my tie, too long.
Then, my shirt, untucked.
Third, my pants, too low.
Fourth, my button, unbuttoned.
FatFuck was polite but OtaiFuck was being an asshole. He was pushing my buttons, hoping I would lose it. But I didnt. So he started poking me with his tales of the seven seas.
OtaiFuck : You from PJ ah?
Me : *trying to use polite tone* Yeah, why?
OtaiFuck : You know catholic school?
Me : Errr, no?
OtaiFuck : If you know catholic school, you will know who I am. You ask catholic people and see.
Me : *raising right eyebrow*
Haha. I have no idea what he was trying to prove. Perhaps some macho-ness to cover up his stupidity. Here's what crossed my mind and would've came out if I didn't care about my permanent records;
Me : Dey, what are you trying to prove la? Bulu kotek oso white white edi. Pleasela, you wanna tell me granpa stories, might as well go back to your kampung, and tell la. Don't talk cock sing song here.
For Bec, if you're reading this 'bulu kotek' is dick hair. 'Kampung' is hometown. =D
Anyways, the conversation continued with me being a pussy. I was being fucked in the ass by 2 associates of the authority. My left ear was hearing what OtaiFuck was trying to say. My right ear was hearing what FatFuck was trying to say.
There was a piece of the conversation I remembered.
OtaiFuck : *holding up a 6 metal studded football boots* You ever kena 6 studs before?
Me : *raising right eyebrow*
OtaiFuck : I kena before you know. *pointing to his leg* Got 14 stitches.
Me : *giving him a do-I-look-like-I-give-a-fuck? look*
For Bec again, 'kena' in this conversation means 'get hit by'.
I was about to provoke him but then, I thought about it and I decided I'd better not do anything I might regret.
After all that was over, I started to redo my plan. Perhaps I should only go with 1 enemy. 2 is starting to be too much to handle. So, I think I shall make peace with FatFuck and wage war with OtaiFuck.
Yesh! Sounds like a good idea.
I'll update you folks on the progress of the plan after it has been tested.